If Justin Bieber were my son, I would have a Cobb salad for lunch every day, and a big goblet of iced tea beside it. If the tea were sweetened or flavored in any way, I would send it back. I would never drink tap water.
If Justin Bieber were my son, I would say, "Well, then, maybe I need to speak to your manager" at least once a day.
Read more If Justin Bieber Were My Terrible, Golden Son at The Toast.